Friday, December 16, 2011

Scars are Souveniers

I don't hate my C-section scar. It's something I didn't really think much about until I realized how many people I've spoken to have major hang ups about theirs and how it isn't attractive. Maybe it's the fact that I don't usually show off that particular area of my body randomly anyway (do people?!) or the fact that I've never had a major scar before, but... I find it sort of fascinating.

Sure, when it was all fresh and stitchy, it was gross. I tried not to mess with it anymore than I had to for cleaning and water. Because... ew. Stitches. In my BODY, people! It was a freakshow. I was not amused. But then the stitches dissolved, the glue started to peel, and things started getting back to normal. Now the scar is indented and fading from red to purple, and I actually find watching the change in it over time compelling. I enjoy seeing it change. I'm proud of the fact that I have that permanent reminder of just what I went through to have Pike. Would I be just as proud if I'd had a vaginal birth? Sure! But that's not how it happened, and this is the evidence of that. It's a fading snapshot of what we experienced, and I can't picture myself ever being upset to have that.