Decision Time

Decision Time Collage, originally uploaded by dadadreams.

Well, not really. Except maybe, yes. Inevitably the second child question comes up. It has for us. On the one hand, we both have siblings, and we like having siblings. I loved the tiny baby part, and I'd do it all over again - sleepless nights at all. I even liked being pregnant despite being so damn tired all the time.

On the other hand? If we have one child, our finances take less of a hit. We can pay things off and maybe even be able to do neat things for Pike like trips to Disneyland. If we're saving up for #2, we risk not being able to do what we really want to do for #1. I wouldn't ever want Pike to feel like he got shortchanged because having a second kiddo was too important to us, and since our plan didn't include even one child once upon a time, we didn't plan anything out financially or in any other sense for two.

For now, we're happy with our family as it is. Pike is beyond super amazing. He's pretty much the best kid ever (no offense to all the other kids out there). Is there a chance we'll change our minds? Oh, sure. There's always a chance. But I think for the time being we're happy with where and how we are.

If you've already had your first and people are asking about your second (or you've already had or are having a second), how did you reach your decision for or against?

Family Changes

Family picture, originally uploaded by sallycphotography.

I've sat down to write this several times but have never really found the way to put it. The thing is, my family has changed a lot in the last year. Last June, my papau passed away. He was the lynchpin on my mom's side of the family - more than I ever realized at the time - and one of the most important people in my life.

After his death, tensions boiled to the surface and I become part of family fights with people I'd never realized felt anything for me in paticular, let alone such bile. Rather than get entangled, I've just stayed out of it as much as possible. As a result, my mom and sister and the only part of my family on that side with whom I know where I stand.

That's the bad part. The good part is that I've started talking more (at least virtually) with my cousins and one of my half brothers. I've married into my husband's family and gotten a wonderful uncle and a grandma out of that deal.

With a baby on the way, there are times when I really don't know how to deal with how different things are. Is it polite to send birth notices to people who don't talk to you anymore? Does it matter? If they blew off my wedding, would they care anyway? I think I've realized that the only thing I can do is give as much of my time and energy as possible to the family and friends who ARE there and who DO care. They're the ones that really matter. They're my real family.