Saturday, December 3, 2011

Body by Baby

One of the more surprising aspects of having Pike is that I don't hate my body. I'd kind of expected to. I mean, everything changes when you have a baby, right? You get gross and fat and icky. That's kind of the party line.

But I loved the way I looked pregnant. Sure, I had some extra chub in my face, and I got a few new stretch marks (expected - I already had some just from puberty, weight gain, etc.), but it was cool seeing Nooblet growing and changing and me changing with him.

After I had Pike, I was really too busy healing and worrying about him to sweat what I looked like much. I had my first surgical scar and getting that healed was my biggest physical concern.

I was floored by the fact that when I went back to work a week after Pike's birth, I was actually below the weight I'd been when I got pregnant. Some things (my stomach) were flabbier and a little more stretch-marky, but my weight had dropped quicker than I'd thought possible. Over the next few weeks, my muscles began to regain some tone, and soon I was fitting into regular pants again.

My weight has now evened out. I'm about where I was before I got pregnant, and give or take in the same place in terms of my measurements/fitness level. Maybe slightly below that on cardio, but it's coming back up. But I don't hate it. I don't look in the mirror and get grossed out by the fact that I'm a little more lumpy. I'd truthfully expected to. It doesn't hurt anything that Wes doesn't care about the stretch marks and the scar and any extra, um, curves that may have been a byproduct of having Pike. Let's face it, being wanted is always an ego boost, always a bump to your self confidence. So for now, while I'm not going to stuff my face without thinking of the consequences, I'm not in the market for a major diet or a body makeover. I'm really, really okay for right now with being me and being a mom.