Monday, November 21, 2011

Back to Work Blues

It's not like it's a surprise. I've known since Pike was conceived that I would be a working mom, that once my FMLA leave was over, I'd be back in the office. That's what our budget allows for, and unfortunately, that's how it has to be.

I honestly thought I'd be happy to be going back to work, tired of sitting around the house, ready for adult companionship. I'm a modern, strong, independent chick, right?

Um, maybe not so much.

Because, see, if I had the chance at all, I'd be staying home with Pike instead. I have a job I love, co-workers that I seriously adore... and I'd still stay home with my baby. I think he'll do great at the home care place we've selected. The lady who runs it is awesome, there aren't a lot of kiddos there, and we already did a meet 'n' greet and she thought Pike was adorable. He'll be fine. Thing is? I'm gonna be a mess. I don't want to be away from him. I don't want to miss him smiling when he wakes up from his nap and cooing and giggling when somebody makes a funny face at him. I don't want to miss him learning and growing and changing and just seeing him for a few hours at the end of the day - if that.

So I think Pike will be great. I think he'll be fine, he'll adjust. I'm just really worrying about whether I will.