It's not like it's a surprise. I've known since Pike was conceived that I would be a working mom, that once my FMLA leave was over, I'd be back in the office. That's what our budget allows for, and unfortunately, that's how it has to be.
I honestly thought I'd be happy to be going back to work, tired of sitting around the house, ready for adult companionship. I'm a modern, strong, independent chick, right?
Um, maybe not so much.
Because, see, if I had the chance at all, I'd be staying home with Pike instead. I have a job I love, co-workers that I seriously adore... and I'd still stay home with my baby. I think he'll do great at the home care place we've selected. The lady who runs it is awesome, there aren't a lot of kiddos there, and we already did a meet 'n' greet and she thought Pike was adorable. He'll be fine. Thing is? I'm gonna be a mess. I don't want to be away from him. I don't want to miss him smiling when he wakes up from his nap and cooing and giggling when somebody makes a funny face at him. I don't want to miss him learning and growing and changing and just seeing him for a few hours at the end of the day - if that.
So I think Pike will be great. I think he'll be fine, he'll adjust. I'm just really worrying about whether I will.
Sweetheart, if I were a wealthy man I'd pay for you to stay home! :: hugs ::
ReplyDeleteThis is the exact reason I chose to stay home. It isn't easy by any means, we struggle a lot right now as far as finances go, but I am hoping with this new work at home job that I am testing for it will make it easier. I do miss adult conversation though.
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