Monday, April 11, 2011
Family Changes
I've sat down to write this several times but have never really found the way to put it. The thing is, my family has changed a lot in the last year. Last June, my papau passed away. He was the lynchpin on my mom's side of the family - more than I ever realized at the time - and one of the most important people in my life.
After his death, tensions boiled to the surface and I become part of family fights with people I'd never realized felt anything for me in paticular, let alone such bile. Rather than get entangled, I've just stayed out of it as much as possible. As a result, my mom and sister and the only part of my family on that side with whom I know where I stand.
That's the bad part. The good part is that I've started talking more (at least virtually) with my cousins and one of my half brothers. I've married into my husband's family and gotten a wonderful uncle and a grandma out of that deal.
With a baby on the way, there are times when I really don't know how to deal with how different things are. Is it polite to send birth notices to people who don't talk to you anymore? Does it matter? If they blew off my wedding, would they care anyway? I think I've realized that the only thing I can do is give as much of my time and energy as possible to the family and friends who ARE there and who DO care. They're the ones that really matter. They're my real family.
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I would definitely send out the birth notices to everyone. That way it can--and will--be their decision on whether or not to acknowledge the newest addiction to the family. They can't, years down the road, claim that you kept them from their whatever relationship title your little one will have with them. But do they deserve more than that mass-printed note dropped in the mail? Probably not. But at least you'll have made the attempt. This is definitely not something you should be worrying about :) It will be their decision on whether or not to be a part of YOUR family and it will be your choice on whether or not to allow it.
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